Give yourself permission...

God gave me this as a small rabbit trail for a sermon I had prepared recently and I wanted to elaborate a little more about this topic.

It has been my experience that there is a whole lot of guilt associated with following God and leaving your family behind. When I first started pondering this, I assumed it was mostly female oriented, but as I have continued to look around and think back to what I have experienced, I have also seen men struggle with this topic as well. So based on what I have experienced, today's blog is for both men & women in the ministry.

It is okay to leave your family behind to follow after God!

I believe the enemy of our souls (a.k.a Satan) twists this biblical truth and uses it against us to make us feel guilty. Let me prove it to you in the word. Go to the book of Luke. Here we find numerous occasions where Jesus tells people to leave their families and follow him.

• Luke 8:1-3--several women are mentioned, one is the wife of Chuza, Herod's business manager. Joannna leaves her family and her duties to follow Jesus.

• Luke 9:24--Jesus is talking about giving up our lives to follow him and by doing so we find true life. This scripture will have multiple meaning to many of us. Here's why, if our lives are wrapped up in sports, then we need to give up sports. If our lives are wrapped up in our jobs then we may need to change professions. If our lives are wrapped up in our children, then we may need to give them up. Whatever it is in our lives that is consuming us, that is what we have to give up. Whether it's money, family, career, "church", position. Whatever it is, we must give it up.

• Luke 9:57-62--Here we find two examples of people who want to follow Christ, but first they want to take care of their father who has just died, or they want to return home and say good-bye to their family and Jesus tells both of them no!

• Luke 14:25-35--Once again the scriptures elaborate on the cost of following Jesus. Here we find Jesus saying we must love him more than our mother, father, wife, children, brothers, sisters, even ourselves.

So let's summarize, Luke tells us repeatedly that following Jesus is going to require sacrifice. That sacrifice may show itself in many forms, but the concept is still the same. I find that pastors are unwilling to sacrifice their families to follow Jesus because they are so guilt ridden that they are a bad mother, or a bad father. Or they've heard how other pastor's have neglected their family taking care of the "church". And they've determined that they will never be guilty of making that same mistake.

Here is where the truth comes to the forefront and Satan's lies are exposed. You see, God loves our families more than we do. He is much more concerned with their well-being than we could ever think about being. And somehow Satan has convinced us that if we surrender our lives to God and give our family to Him that somehow our children and our spouses will be damaged by allowing God to take care of them. Can you see how Satan manipulates our circumstances to make us feel guilty? In the end if we allow Satan to control this area of our lives we are ultimately telling God that He is not capable of caring for our families like we can and therefore we will not allow him to care for them at all. It then becomes our sole responsibility.

This is where the lie comes to it's full potential. This is when our families begin to be damaged. It is because we have taken the God ordained plan for our lives and put the reigns in our own hands. We now bear the weight of trying to take care of the people God has called us to as well as taking care of our families. This a burden that is much too heavy for us to bear alone bear.

It is at this point we can begin to realize that we have told God He is not big enough and we are bigger than He is, and our choices were better than His. It is at this point we must admit our smallness and the failure of our choices. When we let go of the reigns that truly belong to God and Him alone, we begin to feel the freedom all of us have received through the sacrifice of God's only son, Jesus Christ.

You see it's not about putting the church before your family or children. It's about putting God before your church and your family. When God becomes the reason you breathe, the reason you get up in the morning, the reason you exist. When you come to point that you can't possibly continue living unless you have Him, only then will your family (and your church) truly know the depth of the love and compassion Jesus has for them. And in turn, because of the relationship you now have with Him, you will also reflect that same love and compassion of your Lord & Savior, which is felt by your wife, your children, your mother, your father and everyone else you come in contact with!

So, going back to the beginning.... Give yourself permission to follow after God. The only thing that can come from it is good. If you give yourself completely and wholly to Him, you can guarantee He will take care of you and those you love.

Burnout is Hogwash!

Let's explore this topic a little deeper...

First, I think taking a moment to define "burnout" would be beneficial. Merriam Webster Online Dictionary defines burnout as "exhaustion of physical or emotional strength or motivation usually as a result of prolonged stress or frustration."

So let's talk about this in relationship to being in the ministry. It is so easy to put everything we have into what we are doing. We give and give and work and work and run here and run there and before we know it we are in burnout. Oops! Did I say that? You mean we can get burnout? I thought we established that burnout is hogwash?

Well here is a more in depth look at my thoughts regarding burnout. I have had friends who have called me worn out, depressed, and sounding like they have been drug through the ringer. Then while spilling their guts to me I hear those forbidden words "I'm just burnt out." Going back to the definition, we find this means they are exhausted and have no emotional strength left much less physical strength. Nor do they have the motivation to continue because they are completely frustrated and totally stressed out.

Do you hear the words that are being spoken? Exhausted. Frustrated. Stressed. Are these characteristics we see in Jesus? Jesus is the ultimate and greatest Example. When we question what we are supposed to be doing, we can turn to the Scriptures and look at what Jesus did while in ministry.

So my question to you is this, can you find one example in the Scriptures that shows us where Jesus exampled frustration, exhaustion, and stress? Did Jesus experience burnout? Now some may argue that when Jesus separated himself from the crowds it was because he was experiencing burnout. But, my friend, isn't it more likely that he was simply exampling for us how to avoid burnout? Let me explain...

When Jesus seperated himself out, he fasted and prayed during those times. The only way to arrive at the point of burnout is when we give in to the enemy and allow him to drag us there. We are victorious over Satan! We do not have to live in constant frustration. We do not have to live being completely exhausted after every service and/or board meeting. Stress does not have to be a way of life. These three words frustration, exhaustion and stress should be the exception and not the rule.

If you find you are living in these words weekly or even daily then you need to get in the Word. The Word says that if we will wait on him he will renew our strength. We also find it is the anointing that breaks the yoke, and our despair can be traded for joy. You see, the Word is bursting with words of encouragement for us to turn to when we begin to feel the weight of ministry on our shoulders. We only need to seek God's face and take our worries and concerns and lay them at His feet. Spend some time fasting until we get a breakthrough. He is more than capable of handling our problems.

You see, when we apply biblical principles to our problems they begin to diminish and life becomes not just bearable, but enjoyable, even exciting. We find pleasure in serving our Lord and King, Jesus Christ. We find our emotional needs are being met, simply because we are serving; we are walking in obedience. There may be twists in the road and bumps here and there, but nothing can take away the peace we have in Christ Jesus.

He is truly our all in all....

Enabling

I have been pondering this subject for several months now and decided to put something down on paper. A non-traditional look at Job will give us some insight into this subject.

Job was the most "righteous" man in the bible in most people's mind since he is introduced in chapter 1 verse 1 as "perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil". This quote coming from the sacred KJV. (I use several translations for studying and prefer NLT for my daily reading bible, but for today we'll use the version that was good enough Paul!! ;}) We'll save the controversial subject of bible versions for a later post!!

Now, back to Job. I have been taught all my life how perfect Job was, that God allowed Satan to "touch" Job, and in the end Job was restored with more than what he started with. And while all of this is true, let's pause and look at Job and his relationship with his children.

Let's imagine that Job is a Pastor. He's a great Pastor, in fact, he's done so well he's the Lead Pastor of a mega church! There are plenty in attendance, finances are great, a new building project is under way, he has staff galore, the church board loves him, things are basically perfect.

But then there's the issue of his children. Now, Job doesn't hide the fact that his children aren't serving God. In fact his heart is broken, and he prays for them daily. But let's look even closer.

Job's children are adults, they are making adult decisions. And yet Job is supporting them in their decisions. (Now we will have to pause here for a moment of clarification. With the real story being during bible times when families did not leave each other there is an aspect of this story that is not contextually correct, but I would like to explore the concept presented, rather than trying to apply their culture to ours.) You might wonder, how is he supporting their decisions? Picture this. Job's 10 children live in the same town where his church is. Since Job has plenty of disposable income, he has helped each of his children to become established and "get on their feet". Meanwhile his children have continued on their own path, doing their own thing. They show up for church occasionally and put on a happy face and do all things you're supposed to do in church. (Remember? Their PK's, they've seen it all, done it all.) But when the day is done, they return home and continue living their self-absorbed lives without any thought of God or anyone else.

Through the years Job instilled a strong family value in his sons and daughters and even though they are grown, they get together every time one of them has a birthday. It's quite the party when Job's children get together. They usually spend the entire weekend celebrating! In the midst of this celebration there is much evil, Job's children, not being Christians make a lot of really bad choices. And yet Job, although he sees what his children are doing, says nothing.

Instead of confronting his children, Job returns to his prayer closet to weep and pray, begging God to forgive them. (Please understand, I am not addressing intercession in this blog. I absolutely believe and encourage intercession for the unsaved, but today we are talking about enabling.) Are you beginning to get a picture for what may have been happening with Job and his children? Are you picking up on the clues that Job was ignoring the fact that his children were committing sin? He was saying with his actions "I don't approve of your lifestyle" and yet his only response to their bad choices was offering sacrifices "just in case" they were sinning. This is enabling in it's purest form!

Enabling makes you responsible for other people's choices; whether it's your kids, your husband, or even your co-workers. Here's an example that might hit home. You're angry with your husband because he's fussing about the finances, storming around the house, upsetting the children, upsetting you, upsetting himself. He wants you to drop everything and come balance the checkbook "right now!" Now mind you it's 8:30 at night you are right in the middle of bathing the children and getting them to bed. You don't mind to balance the checkbook you just need him to wait until you have the children settled in bed. Instead of finishing what you are doing, you give in to his tantrum and do what he's demanding. You have just become guilty of enabling.

Or maybe you have decided not give your child any more financial help, but then every time they call you, and mention they need something you go buy it for them and justify yourself because you didn't actually give them cash. Enabling shows itself in lots of ways, its just a matter of us recognizing that we are enabling that person to continue in their poor choices.

There are so many applications of enabling it would be impossible to give an example of every type. My goal today is to get you thinking about it. I want you to begin to explore this topic and examine whether or not it is affecting your home or even your church.

God please expose every hidden secret and give us the wisdom to change our circumstances...

What do you mean "Let it die"?

When we took this church we inherited a structually damaged building infested with mold. In addition to the physical aspects of the church, there was the history of pastors coming and going. We were the 6th pastors in 10 years! There was moral failure, bad community relations (preachers angry and cussing at the town softball games!), preachers who would only stay 3-4 months, it goes on and on!! I remember one time hearing a person from the community say it would be better to put a match to our building than to have to walk inside it!! Wow, now that's an insult!!

We have been here for 8 years now and have purchased land and built a new building. Now that we are established in a different building with a different name, I have to sit back and wonder if it would not have been better to just close that nasty building. We had few members to begin with, we could have met somewhere else. It wouldn't have been the best situation, but neither was that mold infested building!!

We chose to change the name of the church hoping the name change would help us in leaving the history behind at the old building and start fresh. A new name and a brand new building. Because we live in a small community it has been really difficult not to be viewed as "the Assembly of God church". We've done some marketing and have attempted "branding" with our new logo. But we haven't seen the results that you are supposed to see from that type of strategy.

So bringing it back around, I have to wonder if things would be different if we just would have closed the door of the church and let it die in the eyes of the public. Officially dead. Then started the building project and opened a new church with a new name (which would have equaled a church plant!). But no! Here we sit with the past still attached and we are still striving to overcome that past and prove to our community that we are not leaving, we have integrity, and God is moving.

Once again I leave you with pray, pray, pray, it's the most important thing you can do!!

10 Ideas for Church Revitalization

1. Let it die.

• Winter must come, there's no way around it. Spring always follows, but winter must come. Expect people to get mad and quit. (and btw...according to them, it will be your fault, but don't worry, just let them go, it's okay!)

2. Get some stick-to-it-ism.

• There will be a power struggle. (This is one battle you can't lose!) They will try to run you off, but you must choose to stay. You must establish yourself as the head of the church. It is biblical, the Pastor is the God given authority in the church and everyone must believe that--including you!

3. Know that you know that you know that you know God called you to that church.

• Don't "put out a fleece" that you'll know God called you if the vote to keep you is unanimous. Did it ever occur to you that there might be someone in that church that doesn't want what God wants?? When the tide rolls, things are going to get ugly. You're going to have to know that God called you and no one else. The only time it's an option to leave is when the work is done. You can't use "God's telling me to move on" as an excuse to tuck tail and run when things get rough!

4. Have other income.

• When it comes time for the financial questions to bombard you, it will be easier for you mentally when you know you don't depend on the tithe to pay your bills. Being dependant on the tithe as your sole means of livelihood, provides an opportunity to be tempted to give in to the pressure.

5. Know the vision God gave you.

• You are the Pastor. God leads through you and you alone. God does not go around you and have Sis. Sassy Pants and Bro. Good O. Boy to tell you what He wants you to do. God asked you to go and lead the people. God will talk to you, have no doubt!

6. God's Will is God's Bill.

• An evangelist once told us this during a sermon. He looked my husband straight in the eyes and very passionately said "God's will is God's bill." He must have repeated it at least 20 times during that service. That word has never left us. God is your Source, He will take care of it and you!

7. You must be willing to sacrifice tradition.

• Earl Creps said that our culture changes every 3-5 years. The church changes every 30 years. God is not concerned with the "good ol' days", he's concerned with building His kingdom, i.e saving souls and keeping them (sometimes known as discipleship). Your church can't continue to function like it's the 1940's or even the 1980's. Wake up Pastor! It's 2008, function in it!

8. Hard Work only zone, NO SCHMUCKS ALLOWED.

• There will be times when it won't get done unless you do it. But rest assured, if it is the direction God is leading you in, you will be able to do it. (He equips those He calls) It's the hardest thing in the world to wear multiple hats, but it can be done!

9. Burn out is hogwash!

• Watch out for the "I'm just burned out" statement. The Word tells us that He will renew us when we wait on Him. When we stay in right relationship with God, we won't get burned out. We may get tired, and feel weary, as Jesus did. But burn out? Never! Remember? God equips those He calls. He will never give us more than we can bear, and He will ALWAYS provide a way of escape. (sorry, that's kind of a soap box for me!!)

10. Change is a process, not an event!

• Don't change everything the first Sunday! Change is hard on people, but they will adjust if you continue to love them through the process. Our world is ever changing around us, and what worked in ministry yesterday, may not work today. Your people are changing too, even if they don't realize it! If you question that, just look at their homes and look at their cars. Do they have indoor plumbing, microwaves, and A/C? Yes! Do they drive cars from the 1940's? No! They are adapting to the changes in our culture. Our churches can adapt as well with a little bit of guidance and a whole lot of wisdom!

Remember at the end of the day your still just human. It is so important to stay balanced. Sometimes you'll have to take the day off and go play in the park (you won't be a schmuck). It's okay. Give yourself permission to be human, God may have called you to the ministry, but that doesn't make you a Superhero! The world will continue spinning if you choose not to go to the Friday night potluck dinner and instead you go on a date with your wife. It's okay, you can do that! It's a healthy choice to invest in your marriage!

And very last, as an Honorable Mention, just in case you're not already doing it...Pray, Pray, Pray. (I assume as Pastors we're all doing this!) You won't survive if you're not in constant conversation with the One True God!